Day out

I had a day out yesterday. I went up to school and met with colleagues to talk informally about our projects, and had lunch with colleagues and professors.

It was a good day, and it sent me home with all kinds of thoughts. Particularly thoughts about research paradigms, the innate skills of the individuals in my program, my own innate skills and weaknesses, why I struggle in places where others don't, why others struggle in places I don't, and why some just don't struggle all that much.

It also gave me pause around my new attitude. I heard, in some colleagues, my old, pressured need "to just have this done," and "to just graduate in May." I resonated with that need. I could feel it bubble up in me again. I dealt with it by feeling sorry for them, wondering if they'll manage to pull off what I couldn't, and wondering how they'll handle it if they don't. I also came around to understanding that, while that attitude may work for them, and although it still resonates with me, I have crossed that bridge, and cannot go back to that place. I am a researcher first; the fact that I am in graduate school is now secondary to that.

Hope you have a great day being whoever it is you are.

--EA